Uncommon Grace

May Showers bring...

Some news from me! (Photos here are from our first good rainy spring day. During a pause in the rain, my wee ones had enormous fun doing some puddle jumping!)

We ordered a new computer. Thank goodness. It's not the Mac that I would have hoped for, but it'll work. A whole lot better than this "can I borrow the laptop again?" thing that is happening right now!

I'm leaving tomorrow for the parenting conference that I'm giving a talk at. Oh, my. I am so nervous.

And finally, I think we've found a place to live! It all rests on our references now. ;) It's a pretty sweet little house with a great big backyard and a fantastic kitchen. As with any house (especially when renting), there are compromises to be made. It doesn't have a fireplace, which I really thought I'd never be able to live without -- but I guess I will, and it's only two bedrooms, so the play/creative/art space for the children as well as what will be my own creative space are in a dark basement. We'll have to figure out ways of brightening it up (and we haven't talked to the landlords about painting yet, so I don't know if that's a possibility or not) without spending a whole bunch of money. It's important to me that we do manage to make the space comfortable and workable for our needs, though, because obviously that's one of the reasons we're moving out of this teeny place.

But lest I leave you on a "we're moving into a dark basement" note -- the backyard! It's fantastic! With trees! And a garden! and a wooden swingset! And the kitchen! It's so spacious! With a gas stove! And there are hardwood floors throughout the house! Which I grew up with, and wanted to have once again so much. So we're pretty excited. 

five-two

5/2 :: May 2nd :: a return to our 52 weeks project. There are so many amazingly beautiful and creative shots in that group -- I really want to get more into it. So here are our three pairs of shoes today. James is, of course, jumping.

Enjoy your weekend, everyone! It's cold here -- we're having a late spring, it seems. But I am looking forward to a fun weekend of making, at any rate!

Meet Hattie!

I have tons of pictures from New York to go through before I can talk about that trip, so today I'm going to introduce you to Hattie.

Hattie was commissioned as a birthday gift for the older sister of the two boys who now have Faolan and Colin. I was so honored that their mother was happy enough with the two boy dolls and appreciative enough of my work to order another doll from me.

That said, I had a really hard time with Hattie. This was the first doll with which I really struggled for inspiration. I think that mostly it was the timing -- creating her in the midst of making my own children's birthday gifts, some awful late-season colds, and preparing for my trip (which was an ordeal in itself because I thought there was a decent chance I would die in the airplane). Part of it was also that the mother of the recipient had something really specific in mind (she is totally nice -- it's not that she was being difficult or anything), and I wasn't sure how to work that vision into my established dollmaking "style". With all this going on, there was a moment that I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get her to her new family on time. She ended up coming along in my carry-on (messenger bag) on the plane to New York, and her hair and pinafore received their finishing touches in the air. She was quickly photographed in our hotel room, and then we rushed to a Manhattan post office to mail her off. Whew! That was a whirlwind, and a strange way to begin a vacation.

Ultimately, despite the rush, and my own anxieties about her, I think she is so lovely, sweet, and most of all, authentic. There are lots of Waldorf dollmakers out there who are making their dolls to look more modern, fashionable, updated, what-have-you. Some of those dolls are really exquisite. But I like my dolls to have an innocent, old-fashioned quality to them. I want them to be representatives of the archetype of childhood. Despite having sort of come into dollmaking by happenstance, I've discovered that I really do have a philosophy behind my dollmaking, beyond the general Waldorf philosophy regarding dolls (that they should be free from too many details so as to be a "blank slate" for the child's imagination and creative play).

So, I've discovered that I make my dolls with that very wholesome concept of childhood in mind. I believe that they could very well be at home with a child living centuries ago. They represent childhood in its purest form. And each of them is a treasure to me -- as I hope they will be to their new little mamas and daddies.

Remember me?

Hi, my name is Grace, the person who formerly posted to this blog. That's me in New York. On a trip that I took and really want to tell you all about.

Computer. That's all I have to say. It's still dead (I suppose that's kind of redundant), and I don't always have access to the laptop, since it isn't actually mine. And I hate editing photos on it anyway, because despite your reassurances, I think they look bad.

So. These are the things that I think still need some updating on this blog. I am making a list so that you can hold me accountable. Although the timeline might be sketchy depending on computer yuckiness.

1. Trip to New York. Very quick summary: It was so awesome. Too short. But then, I wouldn't have wanted to leave my children for any longer. The opera was the best part. By far. (Although getting to see a very dear friend for the first time in six years and meeting this lovely blogger for the first time ever were also incredibly fantastic.) For now, here is a photo of the Grace building on 42nd Street, just because I had to share it:

2. Elisabeth's birthday doll

3. Another doll that I completed and mailed off recently

4. James's birthday gifts

5. Completed messenger bag (Here's a photo of it for now.)

6. Catching up on my 52 Weeks, My Kids and Me photo project

7. My Virtual Quilting Bee square for April, which I completed about three weeks ago

8. Other various and sundry projects completed sometime in the recent past

Whew! That's really a list! OK, nothing to do now but begin to tick it off. Slowly. :)

PS: Reader Anne left a comment to my last post that a set of birthday ring characters made by the same company as mine (though not the same exact set) can be found here.

Birthday Celebrating

This is my last post before I go on my trip -- too much to get done. Have a lovely weekend, everyone! I thought I published this on Wednesday last week, but I just saved it as a draft! Oops! I'm back from New York now, but the photos and recounting of the trip will have to wait as I'm still actually computer-less. My IT guy -- er, brother-in-law -- is trying to work on our other one, but for now I don't have it.

Many of you have contacted me about a source for our birthday ring. We got it 5 years ago from Magic Cabin. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like they still carry them. The rings themselves can still be found in online shops, such as A Toy Garden or Nova Natural. You can get the ring by itself, or an entire set with all sorts of different figures. I haven't found anyone selling the peg people that we have anymore, but now that I'm doing more creating than I was five years ago, I realize how easy it would be to make the them using small wooden peg people (I've seen them at both JoAnn and Hobby Lobby, or you could look here), bits of wool felt & fabric, and some acrylic paint for facial features. It would be fun to have custom-made ones for your own family, incorporating your child's interests or favorite stories into the characters. If I were to do it now, I'd buy a ring by itself and create my own characters for it. Alas, I never even thought of it five years ago. Alexis did, though! Look at the beautiful one she created for her daughter's birthday last year! (More pictures of hers here.)

I get a lot of questions regarding our family's birthday traditions. For the most part, they're a mix of this and that, but several of the more "visible" traditions (the ring, the crown) are inspired by our interest and involvment in the Waldorf community. The birthday ring and crown are actually European birthday traditions -- not expressly "Waldorf", but it seems that in the US, they've come to be associated with Waldorf; I suppose this is just because a lot of the traditions adopted in Waldorf schools have their origins in Europe.

Anyway, we have a tradition of saying a poem before bed on the eve of the birthday. The poem we like to use is a pretty standard one. I'll add it at the end of the post. In the morning, the birthday child awakens to find the birthday ring and crown (more about those here) at his or her place at the table, and the birthday wreath hanging above. The candles on the ring are lit, and we say a (different) birthday poem (this year is was the same poem from Now We Are Six that I shared here on Elisabeth's birthday). We sing and the candles are blown out, and then we eat breakfast. Presents are opened after breakfast, and the crown is worn for much of the day. Beyond that, our birthday celebrations change from year to year, depending on the schedules of grandparents, and the day of the week. The birthday child gets to choose our dinner, of course. We like our celebrations special and full of family traditions, but simple at the same time. I once heard another mother say that before you start a tradition, you should make sure it's something you could do if you were sick, if your child were sick, if you were traveling, and ... something else. You get the point. I think it's so easy to bite off more than you can chew when it comes to celebrating. It's probably better to one small tradition at a time. (Sometimes I'm better at following my own advice than others.)

I'll leave you with our favorite "birthday eve" poem:

When I have said my evening prayer,
And my clothes are folded on the chair,
And mother switches off the light,
I'll still be ___ years old tonight.

But from the very break of day,
Before the children rise and play,
Before the darkness turns to gold,
Tomorrow, I'll be ___ years old.

___ kisses when I wake,
___ candles on my cake.*

*I don't know the author of this poem, it is listed anonymously in several books I have referenced over the last several years. But if the author of the poem is known to anyone, I will happily give credit here!

Dilemma! Immediate assistance required!

(I have a birthday celebrations post with answers to many of your questions to me over the last few days waiting in the wings. Tomorrow, OK?)

I'm leaving for my trip to New York in a few days. (My mom and I are going together -- it's my 30th birthday present/her "I've been someone's mother for 30 years?!?" present.) One of these bags is coming with me, to carry my camera around in while we're there, and as a carry-on for the plane.

But, I can't make a final decision about the fabric. I was originally planning to go with this fabric, from Joelle Hoverson's new Cake Rock Beach line:

(Which I love.)

But then I started thinking, this is kind of monochromatic (which might be a good thing...), maybe I want something more bright and springy? So I pulled out this Denyse Schmidt Katie Jump Rope floral, and the green and white dot (which is from Bee's Knees by Glenna Hailey):

So, what do you think? (Either way, it's going with that charcoal gray -- which I know looks black, but it isn't -- corduroy, shown behind the prints.)

I'm making the bag tonight, so be quick with your votes!

(PS: I bought all this fabric, except for the corduroy, from Sew Mama Sew.)

Six is Super!

We've been having so much fun celebrating our six-year-old's birthday over the last several days. Thank you all so much for your sweet birthday wishes for her, as well. She has loved hearing them as they've come in -- as have I!

We had a super fun, simple, homemade birthday party with some little friends on Saturday. The kids enjoyed it, but I am making a note to self that this is the last time I will be the only adult at a birthday party, especially one that includes two two-year-olds in attendance!

Goodie bags with tags featuring the six-year-old theme. (Contents described here.)

Watercolor paper kites -- a simple, fun project, with the surprise bonus that the kites actually caught a gust of wind pretty well. I was standing outside with one, just holding the string, and it was actually flying up in the air. Who knew?

Wet felting some balls. My kids love to felt, and being the wool and felt lover that I am, we have done it a lot. It was pretty tricky to get a whole group of kids set up with it when I was the only adult, though.

Elisabeth and James with their kites later in the day. So fun and satisfying!

Lots more photos of the six-year-old weekend here.

{We are still without our regular computer. I'm "borrowing" my husband's work laptop -- having located the installation disk with my camera software on it just in time for birthday photos on Thursday! I have no idea if the photos look bad or not, though. The color on the teeny, tiny laptop screen is awful, and depending on the angle, everything looks either really dark or really bright. So, hopefully they're OK from where you sit.}

Six Years Old!

              When I was One,
              I had just begun.

              When I was Two,
              I was nearly new.

              When I was Three,
              I was hardly Me.

              When I was Four,
              I was not much more.

              When I was Five,
              I was just alive.

But now I am Six, I'm as clever as clever.
So I think I'll be six now for ever and ever.

-from Now We are Six by A. A. Milne

{A final note to add that this is my favorite poem of all time.}

Reminders

I began this post more than a year ago -- in January of 2007 -- and for some reason, even after revisiting it a few times, I have never published it. But after my two weeks away from the computer, and stepping back into this space with fresh "eyes", I feel like there is something in this post that I want to share with you now.

One afternoon in January of 2007, when I began this post, our little family was sitting together in the living room, and looking around the room, I really felt struck by the fact that we were (and are) growing into the family I'd always hoped we would. As I sat in the chair knitting this hat, my husband and James built with blocks, and Elisabeth, in typical Elisabeth fashion, flitted happily between one very creative activity to another. (From costumes to hairstyles to art projects to movement and music ... she is the most alive person I have ever known.)

Although it was not the first time the four of us were playing and creating side-by-side, it was one of the first times that I stopped to realize how important this is to me.

Despite many struggles with raising our children, with jobs & money, and lack of time, my husband and I have managed to create a space, or even a moment in time, where peace and creativity flourish. This is so very important to me, and the moments in which these values are truly captured are very special.

I am under no delusion that our children will magically circumvent becoming aloof, even disdainful, teenagers. (I can always hope, though!) But in this moment, while they are still so very little, I am glad that we are placing value on creating together, on working with our hands, and on making and doing rather than waiting for the next outside stimulus to come and sweep us along. I hope that this "foundation" will serve them well later, even when a time comes that they are ready to move on from our little family of four into a bigger world.

I'm thinking about all of this once again as I re-examine what it means for me to be blogging. I received the sweetest, most generous, honest, and inspiring email from a long-time blog reader the day before yesterday. Her words, and the fact that she has drawn inspiration from my life and my family in her own life, on the other side of the earth, humbled and moved me very deeply. Thank you, Iris.

There is something amazing about the connections to be found through this medium, and the opportunities it presents to so many of us are kind of astounding. But, I also have found that the flipside of this (for me) can be a tendency to come across too perfect. I've read discussions around blogland about this, and I have never quite agreed with it. I think it's completely fine to keep the negative elements of my life to myself, and to choose to be positive here. And I am most definitely a perfectionist. I work very slowly, whether it's sewing, knitting, or any other "work." In fact, I think some of you might laugh at how very slowly I sew on the machine! This is to say that I do strive for perfection all the time, because I am a person who gets anxious about small mistakes.

But, I'm not perfect. I make lots of mistakes in my art, work, and life. I'm not a perfect mother. I struggle every single day with remaining present with my children, with balancing my own needs and wants as an individual with the often very disparate needs and wants of two children, and the everyday tasks of a household. When I started this blog, stepping out of severe depression, I started it for myself. My intention was to record one beautiful and positive thing about my life each day, when all the days seemed to run together. For a long time, I believe that I was successful at this. But after a while, I think my focus shifted away from my original intention and more toward "fitting in" with other bloggers. And not that there's anything so harmful in that (what a great group of women (and men, too!), artists, mothers, and creators to fit into!) but I feel like I lost my focus, and lost a little bit of what made this space so very special to me.

So, I am beginning again, reminding myself that the blog is for me, for fun, and for remembering that there are small miracles in every single day, not just the days when I have a craft to show off or a fantastic photo to share.

Thank you to those of you who choose to spend a little bit of your own precious time here with me -- every day, or just once in a while. I hope you will keep visiting, and leaving comments for me. I hope that my new commitment to focus on the special, small moments in my day-to-day life (and crafts, too!) will touch you and bring a little bit of joy and beauty into your days.

love, Grace

PS: The photos here are from our trail walk today. I shared them here because of the peace that my children exude when they are free like this. Their squabbles seem to melt away on the trail.

Quilting Bee ~ March

This was my submission for the Virtual Quilting Bee for March. It goes to Kathy. (I so wish that I had some better photos of it, but I made, photographed, and mailed it last week, and didn't load the photos onto the computer and look at them until last night. Oh, well.)

I really, really loved the fabric that Kathy sent along -- the roses in the center and the polka dots. I love this very understated color palette with grays and blues.

Kathy requested blocks in a log cabin spirit, but said that they didn't have to be traditional log cabin blocks. She mentioned that free-form strip piecing would be one option. She also shared this link to images of the Quilts of Gee's Bend, and I absolutely adored the ones with the horizontal strip piecing, so I kind of ran with that idea.

I am so excited about this block, even with its one unintentional wonky seam. (Since some of the other ladies are doing intentional wonky seams, it should be OK, hee hee!)

Anyway, I loved making this one and I hope Kathy likes it, too!

Easing back in...

...with a picture of my feet. Heading out for an evening with friends on Friday night. In my new shoes that I am breaking in for my upcoming trip to New York.

And with the first tiny, unfolding flower of spring, in a crack in the cement. My computer sabbatical was refreshing, and I think I should have taken it a little sooner. Now I feel a little bit like this flower, slowly opening back up.

I have some projects, as well as just some life, to share with you this week. And I'm having fun checking back in with so many of my favorite blogs ... it's amazing to see what all of you have been up to these two weeks! And now I'm going to get off the computer. Because it's fantastic. But so is everything else that's going on here. And I need to remember to keep that in balance.

Be Back Monday

These last 10 days have been really what I needed. And I'm going to take the rest of the weekend away from the computer and start afresh in this space on Monday!

Letting the Art Back In

Dear Friends,

I am feeling a bit tapped out and overwhelmed -- emotionally, creatively, and just with life in general. I think between having a bad season with regard to colds (the one from last week still hanging on...), stress about looking for a place to move to (still no good prospects on that, by the way), and just a feeling of having found myself behind -- one step behind my now more mischievous two-year-old and my almost six-year-old who leaves me feeling at a loss many days, behind in my work around the home, and so on -- I have allowed myself to let the "art" of living step right on out of my life.

So, with that in mind, I'm going to take about a week or ten days away from the computer. For all the amazing inspiration and motivation that can be found in the online world -- and the blogging "neighborhood" in particular -- there are times (I'm sure for everyone, not just me), when computer time seems to take over more than it should. And so a short break seems in order for me.

I am hoping that I'll return here late next week feeling refreshed, with maybe a few projects to share, and a feeling of having let a little bit more balance -- and art -- back into my days. Be well -- I'll see you soon!

xo, Grace

PS: I will be checking my email once a day out of pure logistical necessity, so don't hesitate to leave a comment or drop me a line. I may need to keep responses quick, but I'll be able to "hear" you.

52 weeks ~ 4, 5, 6

I have not been very good about keeping up on my 52 Weeks, My kids and me challenge. I have three pictures (all taken today, and none containing all three of us...) today to "catch myself up." Because I think that doing a 52 weeks thing over something like 60 weeks would be kind of lame. ;)

Anyway, here we are this morning before getting cleaned up or dressed or anything. Just hanging out in the morning.

This one is taken by Elisabeth. :)

Two years old!

My baby is two today.

I think, for me, anyway, that these days always sneak up and take us by surprise. We knew his birthday was coming, definitely. Despite getting a little bit behind, and having colds all weekend, we had gifts prepared for him, including handmade gifts from Mama and from Elisabeth. And I've been thinking about the fact that he's been with us for two whole years now quite a bit lately. He's actually been saying he's two for a couple of months now.

But, I still find that the real significance of the birthday is just not that apparent until the day actually arrives. Not until the birthday child awakens. Sometimes they know that it's their birthday right away, and sometimes they have to be reminded.

And then, there are the Birthday Traditions. The candles in the ring to be blown out, a crown to be worn all day (except he doesn't like to wear it, but that's OK, too), the birthday poem to be said, the gifts to be opened right after breakfast.

So, now I'm looking at my little one, in all his striking "two-ness." When did he become so capable? Where did all these certainties and opinions come from? When did he start playing like such a big kid with his sister?

He's full of joy, this one. Full of laughter, and jokes, and music. I have never known anyone who could make me so happy just by his presence. He can drive me completely crazy, making mischief, but then he'll just make me laugh and forget the whole thing.

Happy birthday, little one. I love you just as you are today. And I am so excited to see what you'll become over this next year.

Final bit o' green

It was my intention to add one last submission for Green Week on Friday, but we had a long and busy day, followed by me, and then James, being hit with the worst cold I may have ever had. The entire weekend was spent in bed, resting, nursing, and watching two movies multiple times (this one three times, this one just twice). An aside to you P&P fans -- I'm beginning to fear that I might be Mrs Bennet. I had to get my husband to drag the television and DVD player into our bedroom (for the first time in 6 years!) since we don't normally have one in there. I also resorted to fever reducers, which I (at least theoretically) try to avoid in all but the most dire of circumstances. So you can see that we've been quite sick.

We're a little bit better today, which is good, because there's a big birthday on Wednesday and gifts still remain to be made. I have been finding myself thinking a lot, in these past few days of laying in bed, of that snowy Sunday morning two years ago when this little boy (taken on his first birthday) joined our lives, and the days following his birth when he and I lay in my bed, looked out the window, nursed, and fell in love.

As a synesthete, I have strong and very concrete color associations for letters, numbers, months, days of the week, and people in my life. James was and is green to me, so I think that having a week of Green up to his birthday was so very fitting, although I felt that my green submissions were less inspired than I would have hoped. It was my "first week", though, so I'll cut myself a bit of slack. I think part of my lack of inspiration was that I was not really in the same place (geographically, seasonally, etc.) as many of the others playing -- as Emily described in her final green post, she wanted to honor the end of the last long month of winter (February) and the beginning of spring. Of course, where I live (at a very high altitude), spring hits in mid-April, and March is actually the last month of winter. So in about one month, I should be ready for a full-on green week, I think. ;)

So, about my two greens shared today -- James's Sigg water bottle, which is green, for James, and also "green", for the environment. Reducing consumption, waste, and the use of plastics are very important to me. Maybe not in that order. Use of plastics might be number one for me. There is something about plastic that makes me cringe a little bit. But that's another post altogether. The other green in this post -- we've had a few great family play nights recently. I've been thinking so very much about the importance of play in our lives and the lives of our children, what its rightful place ought to be, and so on. I'm working a post up on those thoughts. But I thought I'd share this photo now with its greens.

OK, back to bed for me now. I don't expect to post tomorrow, as I need to save all energy for getting well and making birthday gifts, but I do expect to post in honor of my big boy's second birthday on Wednesday. See you then, dear friends!