on blogging

This post is going to run the risk of getting all sentimental (and there is a glass of wine at my right hand as I type this), but I am just so touched and honored and excited about the very real connections I've made over the last year and a bit with some of you amazing bloggers.

When I was a girl, I had a lot of pen pals. In France, Italy, Austria, the Czech Republic, and several US states. Most of them were with other children (and later teens) that I never met in person. But we learned and shared so much through those letters. It was such a meaningful experience for me -- so much so, that I still have all the letters in a box at my parents'.

Fast forward 15 years, to blogging. Today was a super hard day for me. The house hunting is not going well. It seems that everything we can afford is just ... well, not really appropriate for a family. When it says "perfect for students" in the ad, that's a bad sign. Or when you step into a house and you're pretty sure there's dried vomit on the wall. We looked at five houses today, and not one of them was anywhere I'd feel comfortable with my children running around in. Indoors or out. But my day was sweetened so, so very much by a silly (in the best of ways) back-and-forth exchange with Kirsten about Pride and Prejudice. It was nice, after looking for hours at the same house listed over and over again on all the different websites, to pop into my email and have something to laugh about. So, thank you, Kirsten.

And then there was the sweet package, in more than one way, sent by Emily last week for Valentine's Day. My children were over the moon about the little packets of goodies just for them. And she sent the marshmallows (above), which were so light and fluffy and pillowy and sweet and just everything a marshmallow should be. And then, she sent these beautiful goccoed cards. I tucked one into my husband's bag before he left town on Friday, and he was not only glad to have a note from me while he was away (I admit that I do this every time he goes out of town, though), but he was also amazed by the card. He knows what's good. And I was blown away by Emily's generosity and sweetness and just the amazing goodness of having met her.

There is the criticism about blogging -- saying that when we spend time building relationships with "computer friends" and living in "virtual worlds", we're not building relationships with people in our real lives, or living in our own real worlds. I understand this point. I really do. But I have to say that blogging, for me, has been a way to motivate myself in my actual life (would I have anything great to share here if I weren't really doing it?), and honestly, we are living in a world that is becoming more and more technolically-driven. Whether we like it or not, "community" is coming to be defined in different ways. So, no, I don't know Emily and Kirsten "in the flesh." But these were real connections, that I really needed in that exact moment, I'll add. Blogging friends are real friends.

So, thank you wonderful blogging friends. For your lovely comments that make me smile or pick me up when I'm having a down day. For all of your inspiring blogs, and the commitment that it takes to keep them up. I would just love to share a cup of hot chocolate with one of Emily's marshmallows in it with you right now. Except they're all eaten up. ;)

Comments

[patience]

What a beautiful post, but only to be expected from such a beautiful person.

[Allegra]

I very much enjoyed your post and feel very similarly about the blogging community. I hope the house hunting gets better.

[emilie]

so very very true. very beautiful, grace

[Bina]

I love your blog! Nice to meet you. I was so happy to read this this morning as I have been feeling the same way. I have met such nice people on the blogosphere and flickr that I otherwise would have never met. I think e-mail/blog relationships are as valid as in the flesh relationships. Friendship and giving and making someone happy, what are we in the world for otherwise?

[sarah]

Good luck with the house hunting. I hope that just the right one is just around the corner. I like your sentiments about blogging. The fact that I'm keeping a blog is motivating in my daily life as well. I've enjoyed meeting you--you've been inspiring to me even if it's over the miles and wires rather than in person.

[annette]

Really thoughtful and lovely post. So sorry to hear about your housing dilemma; I do hope something comes up soon.

[erin]

i love this post - it is so true. and i keep thinking i will actually get to meet you one of these days...something to look forward to for sure!

[Nichole]

You are right Grace when you state that communities are becoming different.
As a mom at home I sometimes feel a bit isolated, (especially having moved 3 times in the last 10 years) so blogs are one way to be part of a larger community of mothers/parents. Thanks for such a lovely blog.

[kirsten]

*sniff* it's so... true! :) it really has surprised me how 'real' my online friendships are.

loved 'chatting' with you yesterday - do you think we can keep it up today - it's potty-training today, and i'm sure i could use some distraction! :)

[Colleen]

Thank you so much for sharing the good and the not-so-good Grace; it really helps me through my challenges when I am able to read about someone else's real and honest challenges. I struggle with how much time to devote to "computer" friends and I haven't come up with the answer yet, but it is nice to know I am not alone.

[Mama Urchin]

I do not envy your house hunt. And I agree about virtual friends being real friends. I certainly have experienced that.

[emily]

oh my goodness, you make those marshmallows look tasty! and we didn't even put any in hot chocolate. horrors. i'll have to make some more. (we just ate 'em, straight up! and mailed 'em, of course.) it's so fun to see the things that were once in my home, alive in yours.

did you read what beth had to say today about house hunting?

[Alicia A.]

You're so right, my (real) friend. I can't wait until the day we meet face to face- Yippee!

We only have one marshmallow left. It's sitting in its big, lonely jar, and I can't bring myself to eat it.

[Courtney]

sweet post, sweet Grace.

[Dawn]

Your right, blogging friends are real friends. I never expected that when I started blogging and it has been a real source of joy in my life as well. Good luck with the house hunt!

[Nicole]

You have a beautiful heart Grace! Your post rings true to me as well. It is wonderful meeting people online around the world that I may not have met otherwise. Making a positive connection with someone is always meaningful to me! Good luck with the house hunting, I feel your pain!

[Cici]

this is such a beautiful post. good luck in your house hunt.

[Paige]

Thank you for your touching words - they're reminiscent of how I feel about blogging, too. I feel more motivated and inspired than ever and, as a new blogger, I'm grateful for the connections I've made just within the past few months. Connections are connections, no matter how they're realized!

[miss chris]

Yes, this little online world helps create very real connections... and that is something special and worth doing. Lovely post, Grace.

And good luck with the house hunting. I know how frustrating it can be. Hugs for you from the midwest... XOXO

[Kim]

Grace, another lovely post. I'm sure there is a house just around the corner from me that could use you and the fairy children in it! I'll go for a walk today and check it out...

[cloth.paper.string]

oh grace, i love your sentiments about blogging and the friendships that grow out of our blogs.

i'm wishing you the best with the house hunting. i work in the housing field and know how tough it can be on so many levels; but i also know that there are jems out there. don't give up hope, my friend!

[Bluebirdbaby]

Oh Grace, you've said it so well. You have no idea how many time I blurt out, "My friend Grace..." and people will ask who you are and I end up saying we haven't really met, but rather know each other because of blogging. Oh the weird faces I get. But you are one who quickly became one of my greatest friends, long distant or not. I am so grateful this blogging community exists and allows people to connect in ways they never would have otherwise! Good luck on the house front! Keep me updated :)

[Dawn]

That was a nice post. Sometimes I feel like I'm not holding up my end of the bargain by not posting as often as I would like but I love having blogs like your to come to for inspiration and clarity on what life is about.

[Susan]

I totally agree about blogging friends being real friends. My husband and I were having this talk the other day. I kept mentioning women's names and he'd say, "who?" and I'd say, "Oh- she's a blogger." Finally he was like, "Why don't you talk to your friends who LIVE here?" He doesn't get it. You do! I cherish my "real-life" friends, but to be honest, I have more in common with my blog friends. I think it's nice to have the best of both worlds.

[Heather]

I just had to give you a chin-up comment! We searched for a home to buy for about a year with a crazy stay at a family members and a stay at a rental in the meantime and then almost like magic, we have been in our home for 2 years now! So chin-up, it will happen!

[Sarah]

I have been enjoying your blog for a while now-- thank you! I was too shy to comment before, but seeing what you wrote today prompted me to write... I have been blogging for about 9 months, and I can't seem to get any traffic (or at least any comments!) I was wondering how you got yours going, or if you have any advice. Thanks again for your lovely blog. It's an inspiration!

[Five Flowers/ Emily]

Here here! Sometimes, it is my blog friends that get me through the day, or modivate me to create more art! Cheers to that, man!

[sallyd]

although i don't have a blog, i sometimes wish i did, as through reading blogs, i've realised what a wonderful community it is out there.. your words, along with many, are inspirational for me - to take up a craft (i've just starting sewing) or to be a better person or mummy (new to this too!).. so thank you for your words.. i too had pen-pals when young, not sure how that stopped, but i do love to write a letter or thank you card - i think it's lovely to receive mail.. in saying that, email is great - so much more instant.. and blogging is amazing! good luck on the house hunting - something will turn up.. in the meantime - enjoy your hot chocolate & marshmallows!!

[My Inspired Heart - Sandra]

Grace, you are so right. I have struggled with the idea of building friendships with bloggers, but have come to the conclusion that these blogs that we all cherish are journals looking into our souls, our authentic selves. I really feel that many bloggers know me - the real me. I also struggle with depression and blogging has made a real difference in motivation for me and inspiration to do things for myself, as well as seek out others who share my true passions, my ideas, my journey. It makes me want to be a better person, a better mother, a better wife, a better friend. The community of bloggers is strong and also very genuine. I am so very thankful for bloggers like you and so many others who work really hard to share your emotions, thoughts, joys, and hardships. I am glad to call you my 'friends.'

[lina]

Good luck with the house hunting Grace, I know from years of frequent moving how depressing it can be, but you WILL find some place where you can make a home. Friends are friends regardless of where you meet them.

[heather]

you are just the sweetest grace.

[Stacey]

Thank you for writing about this. I have been thinking about this a lot lately, perhaps it has to do with the February blues. I think this blogging community that we spend time in is wonderful. Every person has so many different facets and unless you live in a big urban area there aren't necessarily outlets to meet similar people. But with the online community there is a broader cross section of people to meet.

Personally it makes me smile to know on any given day there is someone else out there who I'll be able to see a little glimpse of their life. Like a short conversation.

I think I have to go make some hot coco now, have a good night.

[shelley caskey]

a beautiful post, grace. this blogging community is just that, a community of friends and kindred spirits. one that i'm thankful for every day. :) sending good thoughts to you for the house hunt! i have a feeling you will find just the right one. :)

[Tara]

I so enjoy your blog, and I too feel a connection to the folks whose blogs I read.
I know you will find a house soon for your family, and make it the home you need.

[Ram in the Thicket]

I hope the perfect house is soon to be found for you. The hot chocolate looks yummy!

[Tava/Yarnmama]

Hi- I'm a new reader and I love your blog! I was just wondering if you were planning on taking any more orders for dolls any time. Thanks!
Tava
Seattle

[bex]

Oh certainly blog friends are REAL friends.
Sometimes people will say to me, "Is this a blog friend or a real friend?"
I always answer with, "Oh, she's a real friend..." Xxx

[Louise]

So, so true! And some of my blog friends have become very real friends that I see on a regular basis. I think it allows you the opportunity to meet like minded people way faster than you would in real life. It's also such a great forum for discussion of all kinds - the highs, the lows, the similarities, the differences. It makes the rest of the world just that little bit closer! Thanks for such a lovely post - now I'm off to make marshmallows!

[Carrie]

I have a friend in town that I didn't know all that well until we started reading one another's blog. Now we are meeting up in the "real world", too. I tend to share more about my thoughts and feeling on my blog than I do with casual friends. What's getting bizarre is running into friends in town and having them know a lot about my life and what I'm working on--I feel very exposed (especially since I've shared about having postpartum depression), but I think it is a good thing for me to speak up any way I can. I have far off friends emailing me more in response to things they read on my blog, too.

Good luck with the house hunting--spring is near and you'll find the perfect place to plant your seeds, and feet, soon.

[QALBALLAH]

Lovely things from lovely people. LOVE THAT MUG btw. And friends IRL?? Ha! I'm better when I can stop myself typing something rather than blurting it out ;-) and I meet the type of people that don't live so near to me by blogging. I too have made very good friends with people in the virtual world; does this mean it isn't a real friendship? No. Of course not.

Lovely post.
xx