We thought we would find out the results from the interview last night. But instead they are waiting until Monday to do the final portion of the interview process. So we may not hear until Monday night or Tuesday. I'm trying not to spend my weekend overthinking the whole thing, but of course I am. I go back and forth between thoughts like, "he's perfect for this job, it was practically made for him, he is the obvious candidate" to a sinking feeling like I know he hasn't gotten it already. I know these thoughts are normal in a situation like this. But I don't want to become obsessive. Because he does have his job to return to in the fall, although it's always shaky in an inner-city school with shrinking enrollment. But we haven't reached the desperation that so many have lately. So I'm thankful for that, always.
We've had to take on some new expenses. A car, a computer. We knew they were both coming, and they came close together. Suddenly I'm thinking, "Should we really be reserving campsites for this summer? Can we afford that this month?" and other silly worries like that. Here is what I know. Sometimes you have to take on bigger expenses, and things feel tight, and you have to stretch. And then you do stretch, and you find you can make do with fewer of some things. And you may not be able to make all the same choices you've been making. And that can be freeing, in a way.
And what else do I know? I know that yesterday I went to my sister's to watch the Royal Wedding and it took us 11 hours to get through it. There were some frustrated words from both mamas. I remember that things like 4-hour television specials about some strangers getting married are not particularly riveting to one- and two- (and five-, and even, nine-) year-olds.
I know that tomorrow is May first and I haven't yet completed that blue sweater as I'd hoped I would. Because I spent 11 hours yesterday trying to watch Kate Middleton become the Duchess of Cambridge. And that I do really care about that transformation in the life of a woman I've never met. It gives me hope. Not that I'll become a princess one day (though when I was four, my career aspiration was to be the Queen of England), but because it reminds me that in a real way, "fairy tales" happen to all of us, in ordinary and extraordinary ways all the time.
I know that my house has been neglected for two days. And that it looks like it's been neglected for a month. I think if one of you walked in right now, you would think it has never been cleaned. I'm surprised, all the time, how fast things can decline, even when we haven't been home most of that time.
I know that anything is possible: with patience, love, humility, and openness.
And that's what I know on this Saturday.