Uncommon Grace

five-two

5/2 :: May 2nd :: a return to our 52 weeks project. There are so many amazingly beautiful and creative shots in that group -- I really want to get more into it. So here are our three pairs of shoes today. James is, of course, jumping.

Enjoy your weekend, everyone! It's cold here -- we're having a late spring, it seems. But I am looking forward to a fun weekend of making, at any rate!

Reminders

I began this post more than a year ago -- in January of 2007 -- and for some reason, even after revisiting it a few times, I have never published it. But after my two weeks away from the computer, and stepping back into this space with fresh "eyes", I feel like there is something in this post that I want to share with you now.

One afternoon in January of 2007, when I began this post, our little family was sitting together in the living room, and looking around the room, I really felt struck by the fact that we were (and are) growing into the family I'd always hoped we would. As I sat in the chair knitting this hat, my husband and James built with blocks, and Elisabeth, in typical Elisabeth fashion, flitted happily between one very creative activity to another. (From costumes to hairstyles to art projects to movement and music ... she is the most alive person I have ever known.)

Although it was not the first time the four of us were playing and creating side-by-side, it was one of the first times that I stopped to realize how important this is to me.

Despite many struggles with raising our children, with jobs & money, and lack of time, my husband and I have managed to create a space, or even a moment in time, where peace and creativity flourish. This is so very important to me, and the moments in which these values are truly captured are very special.

I am under no delusion that our children will magically circumvent becoming aloof, even disdainful, teenagers. (I can always hope, though!) But in this moment, while they are still so very little, I am glad that we are placing value on creating together, on working with our hands, and on making and doing rather than waiting for the next outside stimulus to come and sweep us along. I hope that this "foundation" will serve them well later, even when a time comes that they are ready to move on from our little family of four into a bigger world.

I'm thinking about all of this once again as I re-examine what it means for me to be blogging. I received the sweetest, most generous, honest, and inspiring email from a long-time blog reader the day before yesterday. Her words, and the fact that she has drawn inspiration from my life and my family in her own life, on the other side of the earth, humbled and moved me very deeply. Thank you, Iris.

There is something amazing about the connections to be found through this medium, and the opportunities it presents to so many of us are kind of astounding. But, I also have found that the flipside of this (for me) can be a tendency to come across too perfect. I've read discussions around blogland about this, and I have never quite agreed with it. I think it's completely fine to keep the negative elements of my life to myself, and to choose to be positive here. And I am most definitely a perfectionist. I work very slowly, whether it's sewing, knitting, or any other "work." In fact, I think some of you might laugh at how very slowly I sew on the machine! This is to say that I do strive for perfection all the time, because I am a person who gets anxious about small mistakes.

But, I'm not perfect. I make lots of mistakes in my art, work, and life. I'm not a perfect mother. I struggle every single day with remaining present with my children, with balancing my own needs and wants as an individual with the often very disparate needs and wants of two children, and the everyday tasks of a household. When I started this blog, stepping out of severe depression, I started it for myself. My intention was to record one beautiful and positive thing about my life each day, when all the days seemed to run together. For a long time, I believe that I was successful at this. But after a while, I think my focus shifted away from my original intention and more toward "fitting in" with other bloggers. And not that there's anything so harmful in that (what a great group of women (and men, too!), artists, mothers, and creators to fit into!) but I feel like I lost my focus, and lost a little bit of what made this space so very special to me.

So, I am beginning again, reminding myself that the blog is for me, for fun, and for remembering that there are small miracles in every single day, not just the days when I have a craft to show off or a fantastic photo to share.

Thank you to those of you who choose to spend a little bit of your own precious time here with me -- every day, or just once in a while. I hope you will keep visiting, and leaving comments for me. I hope that my new commitment to focus on the special, small moments in my day-to-day life (and crafts, too!) will touch you and bring a little bit of joy and beauty into your days.

love, Grace

PS: The photos here are from our trail walk today. I shared them here because of the peace that my children exude when they are free like this. Their squabbles seem to melt away on the trail.

Quilting Bee ~ March

This was my submission for the Virtual Quilting Bee for March. It goes to Kathy. (I so wish that I had some better photos of it, but I made, photographed, and mailed it last week, and didn't load the photos onto the computer and look at them until last night. Oh, well.)

I really, really loved the fabric that Kathy sent along -- the roses in the center and the polka dots. I love this very understated color palette with grays and blues.

Kathy requested blocks in a log cabin spirit, but said that they didn't have to be traditional log cabin blocks. She mentioned that free-form strip piecing would be one option. She also shared this link to images of the Quilts of Gee's Bend, and I absolutely adored the ones with the horizontal strip piecing, so I kind of ran with that idea.

I am so excited about this block, even with its one unintentional wonky seam. (Since some of the other ladies are doing intentional wonky seams, it should be OK, hee hee!)

Anyway, I loved making this one and I hope Kathy likes it, too!

52 weeks ~ 4, 5, 6

I have not been very good about keeping up on my 52 Weeks, My kids and me challenge. I have three pictures (all taken today, and none containing all three of us...) today to "catch myself up." Because I think that doing a 52 weeks thing over something like 60 weeks would be kind of lame. ;)

Anyway, here we are this morning before getting cleaned up or dressed or anything. Just hanging out in the morning.

This one is taken by Elisabeth. :)

Final bit o' green

It was my intention to add one last submission for Green Week on Friday, but we had a long and busy day, followed by me, and then James, being hit with the worst cold I may have ever had. The entire weekend was spent in bed, resting, nursing, and watching two movies multiple times (this one three times, this one just twice). An aside to you P&P fans -- I'm beginning to fear that I might be Mrs Bennet. I had to get my husband to drag the television and DVD player into our bedroom (for the first time in 6 years!) since we don't normally have one in there. I also resorted to fever reducers, which I (at least theoretically) try to avoid in all but the most dire of circumstances. So you can see that we've been quite sick.

We're a little bit better today, which is good, because there's a big birthday on Wednesday and gifts still remain to be made. I have been finding myself thinking a lot, in these past few days of laying in bed, of that snowy Sunday morning two years ago when this little boy (taken on his first birthday) joined our lives, and the days following his birth when he and I lay in my bed, looked out the window, nursed, and fell in love.

As a synesthete, I have strong and very concrete color associations for letters, numbers, months, days of the week, and people in my life. James was and is green to me, so I think that having a week of Green up to his birthday was so very fitting, although I felt that my green submissions were less inspired than I would have hoped. It was my "first week", though, so I'll cut myself a bit of slack. I think part of my lack of inspiration was that I was not really in the same place (geographically, seasonally, etc.) as many of the others playing -- as Emily described in her final green post, she wanted to honor the end of the last long month of winter (February) and the beginning of spring. Of course, where I live (at a very high altitude), spring hits in mid-April, and March is actually the last month of winter. So in about one month, I should be ready for a full-on green week, I think. ;)

So, about my two greens shared today -- James's Sigg water bottle, which is green, for James, and also "green", for the environment. Reducing consumption, waste, and the use of plastics are very important to me. Maybe not in that order. Use of plastics might be number one for me. There is something about plastic that makes me cringe a little bit. But that's another post altogether. The other green in this post -- we've had a few great family play nights recently. I've been thinking so very much about the importance of play in our lives and the lives of our children, what its rightful place ought to be, and so on. I'm working a post up on those thoughts. But I thought I'd share this photo now with its greens.

OK, back to bed for me now. I don't expect to post tomorrow, as I need to save all energy for getting well and making birthday gifts, but I do expect to post in honor of my big boy's second birthday on Wednesday. See you then, dear friends!

Green Week ~ 4

Yesterday we went swimming at our local rec center, and we had quite an adventure. The fire alarm went off and we had to evacuate the building, sopping wet, on a 30-degree day. The fire department came and hauled out some kind of tank. It was all quite exciting.

More about swimming next week.

Green Week ~ 3

It's hard to tell in this photo, but it was snowing out when I took this. A light snow, but snow nonetheless. More winter here. I do so well with winter all through February. But once March hits, I do begin to lose my patience.

Don't get me wrong. I love snow. It's one of my favorite things. And I love winter. I love words like "spare" and "bleak" and I love a gray color palette. (Gray week, anyone?) But there is a certain point, when the signs are pointing toward spring, where wintertime can feel a bit like drudgery. I'm ready for spring this year. Very ready.

Oh, and I just got done watching this film. All I can say is, wow. We so rarely have the opportunity of witnessing the birth of a child. It's amazing to see. Amazing. The issues addressed in the film weren't new to me, as a woman who had a very disappointing birth experience with my firstborn, and later found the "closure" I needed with the birth of my second. My mother-in-law had at least one of her children with twilight sleep (which she describes as even more shocking an experience than is usually reported), and my own mother was a natural birth "pioneer" of the 70's, working to establish the first birth center in her city all the way up to her due date with me. So, yes, I'd heard and even personally experienced some/much of what they talked about, from both sides of the issue. But it was still pretty powerful and awe-inspiring to watch the film. (It does show childbirth and cesarean section incisions, as well as a little bit of non-PG language, so don't watch it if you don't want to see that stuff, though!)

Green Week ~ 2

I actually took this picture almost 2 weeks ago, but it fit the green theme, and also something else I've been thinking about recently.

Namely, birthday season around here. (The photo relates to that because after 10 months of being 5, I finally remembered to take a picture of her holding up her 5 fingers.) James's second birthday is in 8 days now. Eight?! How am I so unprepared? I think it's that February has thrown me off with its shortness once again. I know, I know. It's short every year. And we even had an extra day this year. But a birthday on March 12 sounds so mid-month, you know? So far away when you're just at the end of February...

Anyway, I have no idea what to make for him. None whatsoever.

And Elisabeth's sixth (I know, how can she be six already? don't start me on that...) birthday follows less than a month later (a regular month, at least), on April 10. And I know what I'm going to make for her. But it's kind of a complicated project. So here I am, thinking, "Can I pull off another birthday season?" The answer, of course, is "yes." But it does leave the question of how much sleep mama will get during this month. (Oh, yeah, Easter falls in there, too.)

Do I have a tidy way of summarizing this post? (I like tidily summarized posts.) Is there a lesson learned that can be quickly and patly condensed from this scattered post? I guess not. Maybe just a tiny bit of begging ... cross your fingers for me, OK?

Green Week ~ 1

Emily is hosting a "Green Week" this week. I agreed to participate. I've never done any sort of color challenge before this, so I'm calling it my "first week"! ;)

Since it's still winter here (we had a "blizzard" yesterday), I'm extra challenged, because I don't have any little green buds to share. But I do have a wee one who stayed up way too late last night, and slept in this morning. A wee one who was still very sleepy as he sat on his changing table in his green pajamas this morning. (Yes, that's a seam ripper in his hands. Just ignore that.) All that brightness behind him is the sun reflecting off the massive amount of white outside the window.

In the same windowsill, I have this empty Bag Balm tin. I used to use this stuff on diaper rash with Elisabeth, before I got all weird about petroleum products. So, now I don't use it on anyone's skin, but I still like the green tin. I think I should wipe the last, gunky bit of it out and use the tin for sewing notions. Yeah, I'll do that. One of these days...

Happy Green Week! (I am in a very weird mood today, and I feel like saying things like "yo" and "for shiz." I am trying to restrain myself. It's the cabin fever setting in. I can tell.)

Quilting Bee ~ February

Here's my submission for the Virtual Quilting Bee for February.

the flowers are buttons. the "pasture" is corduroy, with a Superbuzzy lamb frolicking in it. the field on the lower left is a lovely organic colorgrown cotton fleece that had the perfect texture to match with Jennifer's chenille on the right. I added wool yarn to be the vegetables growing in it and felted them a little bit with hot steam from my iron. they should felt up even better when Jennifer washes the quilt.

I had the idea for the farm as soon as Jennifer shared the picture of the fabric she was sending. The chenille just seemed like a field of wheat to me. So I'd already sketched it before I even received Jennifer's fabric in the mail. And I pieced it and appliqued the tree and the clouds several weeks ago.

some little farm people that are fussy cut and pieced into the quilt. the fabric is from Superbuzzy, and it's supposed to be the fairy tale "The Golden Goose", but I thought they looked like the most adorable little farm children with their pig running along behind them!

And then it just sat. I worked on knotting the yarn into the lower left field here and there. But for some reason, it was adding the windows and the door to the house that really held me back on this. I just don't know why, but I couldn't get motivated to add them. Isn't that silly? I think I was just tired of looking at it -- the things that didn't turn out the way I'd hoped (perfectionist me, of course). But, actually, the end result is making me pretty happy.

wool felt appliqued tree trunk -- the clouds, windows, and door are also wool felt, which I've discovered washes just fine as it's already felted

Anyway, Jennifer, I hope you like it. I had so much fun making it, and thinking about what Katie and Tristan might think of it.

30

Today is my big birthday. 30!

gifts from nature via my girl

embroidery by Elisabeth -- a very tiny tulip, because they're my favorite

dusk on the eve of my birthday

THIRTY roses from my husband

My big day, and my husband and I both feel pretty yucky. He's much sicker; he came home from work this morning after about 40 minutes. We've been lying low. Birthday plans for tonight have been postponed until tomorrow, in hopes that we'll both be feeling better.

But, I had to post at least a little something today. And do I ever have a little something to show! I'm left a little speechless by this, but I received a collaborative gift in the mail today from Alicia, Emily, Erin, and Sarah. These women are talented and generous and simply awe-inspiring. I am stunned by what they sent.

It's a book. A book that Sarah made, and hinted about here. (I can't believe that was for me!)

photograph and quote shared by Emily

Each of them shared a little something with me. I am touched and amazed and ... well, I can't think what to say. A little teary. This is what I was talking about with regard to blog friends!

watercolor and ink by Alicia (isn't her handwriting beautiful?)

photograph and watercolor & ink by Alicia

30 things that Erin loves about me?!

"thirty plus one to grow on" by emily

photographs by Sarah

I wanted to share more photos of the pages of the book, but my photos of their photos weren't turning out as well as I'd like.

Anyway, despite feeling somewhat yucky, this has been such a sweet, sweet day. Such a way to welcome my thirties! Thank you all!

52 weeks ~ 3

I forgot to do it last week, I know. But here we are this week, with two.

I really do need a tripod. That would help a lot with this project. My arms are only so long. ;)

We're now officially entering my birthday weekend. Celebrating will begin tonight and continue all the way through Monday. Yay!

And thank you all so much for your many sweet comments on my last post. It has me thinking about so many things. I hope to talk more about those thoughts late next week.

on blogging

This post is going to run the risk of getting all sentimental (and there is a glass of wine at my right hand as I type this), but I am just so touched and honored and excited about the very real connections I've made over the last year and a bit with some of you amazing bloggers.

When I was a girl, I had a lot of pen pals. In France, Italy, Austria, the Czech Republic, and several US states. Most of them were with other children (and later teens) that I never met in person. But we learned and shared so much through those letters. It was such a meaningful experience for me -- so much so, that I still have all the letters in a box at my parents'.

Fast forward 15 years, to blogging. Today was a super hard day for me. The house hunting is not going well. It seems that everything we can afford is just ... well, not really appropriate for a family. When it says "perfect for students" in the ad, that's a bad sign. Or when you step into a house and you're pretty sure there's dried vomit on the wall. We looked at five houses today, and not one of them was anywhere I'd feel comfortable with my children running around in. Indoors or out. But my day was sweetened so, so very much by a silly (in the best of ways) back-and-forth exchange with Kirsten about Pride and Prejudice. It was nice, after looking for hours at the same house listed over and over again on all the different websites, to pop into my email and have something to laugh about. So, thank you, Kirsten.

And then there was the sweet package, in more than one way, sent by Emily last week for Valentine's Day. My children were over the moon about the little packets of goodies just for them. And she sent the marshmallows (above), which were so light and fluffy and pillowy and sweet and just everything a marshmallow should be. And then, she sent these beautiful goccoed cards. I tucked one into my husband's bag before he left town on Friday, and he was not only glad to have a note from me while he was away (I admit that I do this every time he goes out of town, though), but he was also amazed by the card. He knows what's good. And I was blown away by Emily's generosity and sweetness and just the amazing goodness of having met her.

There is the criticism about blogging -- saying that when we spend time building relationships with "computer friends" and living in "virtual worlds", we're not building relationships with people in our real lives, or living in our own real worlds. I understand this point. I really do. But I have to say that blogging, for me, has been a way to motivate myself in my actual life (would I have anything great to share here if I weren't really doing it?), and honestly, we are living in a world that is becoming more and more technolically-driven. Whether we like it or not, "community" is coming to be defined in different ways. So, no, I don't know Emily and Kirsten "in the flesh." But these were real connections, that I really needed in that exact moment, I'll add. Blogging friends are real friends.

So, thank you wonderful blogging friends. For your lovely comments that make me smile or pick me up when I'm having a down day. For all of your inspiring blogs, and the commitment that it takes to keep them up. I would just love to share a cup of hot chocolate with one of Emily's marshmallows in it with you right now. Except they're all eaten up. ;)

52 weeks ~ 2

::for 52 weeks, my kids and me::

We have had a weird, long week. It hasn't been bad, but just somehow out of balance. Baby sleep troubles, thinking about moving (to a bigger house, not a different locale ... sorry dear friends!), a couple of headaches for the mama (I so rarely get them that it's been pretty odd), and very few ideas about posting here. And a lot of projects begun, but none completed. So.

Today seems a bit better. Elisabeth and I started reading Little Town on the Prairie today. We'd read all the Little House books through The Long Winter last year, and then took a little pause (mostly because we didn't have the others). We haven't been able to put it down! This has to be my favorite of the books. I love the evocative way that she describes the simple pleasures in keeping a home so well, and the satisfaction of taking comfort in home and family after a day of real work. It has nearly brought me to tears a few times today. (Well, it's been that kind of week.) More than once, I wanted to jump up and rush in here to exclaim to you all, "You have to read this now, friends!" And my real-life friends will chuckle when they read that it has me thinking about a housecleaning kick. ;)

Anyway, I want to leave you (and me) to look forward to the weekend (and the upcoming spring, which is not really so far away afterall) with some words from the book:

"Beyond the open door and window the prairie was dusky but the sky was still pale, with the first stars beginning to quiver in it. The wind went by, and in the house the air stirred, pleasantly warmed by the cookstove and scented with prairie freshness and food and tea and a cleanness of soap and a faint lingering smell of the new boards that made up the new bedrooms.

"In all that satisfaction, perhaps the best part was knowing that tomorrow would be like today, the same and yet a little different from all the other days, as this one had been."

Just Us

I accepted an invitation several weeks ago to join the Flickr group 52 weeks, my kid(s) and me, and have never posted to it. (I have a gnawing feeling that there are a lot of things that I said that I would do or joined -- or something -- that I haven't done. Only I can't think of what they are.)

Anyway, I finally decided that I would start it this week, especially with today being February 1, and the time for me to decompress after the holidays has probably passed. So new projects it is. 52 weeks of self-portraits of me and my wee ones (I think Fridays sound pretty good), and the Virtual Quilting Bee begins this month, too. (And I'd just like to say that I am so flattered to have been asked to join this group. The other ladies in this group are so very talented. It's going to be fantastic.) And "birthday season" at our house is now rolling into gear (mine at the end of this month, James's in March, and Elisabeth's in April), so there will be work on projects for those, and Easter falls into that mix, as well. And, I have another very special something in the works, so stay tuned...

Anyway, Hello, February! Hello New Projects! Goodbye Christmas of 2007! (You were great, and I learned a lot from you, and now you are passed. Thank goodness.)

Some Etsy love

{First, I wanted to thank all of your for your amazing and thoughtful responses to my request on Tuesday. This community just blows me away all the time! I will certainly give you all an update about how my talk goes -- it's actually in May, but I'm trying to get a head start on preparing for it.}

I am quite remiss in sharing some Etsy goodies that have made their way into our house over the past several months.

A lot of them have come our way from Erin's lovely shop. Erin and I have become such good friends over the last 6 months or so, and I find that she has the exact same taste as me in so many things (except the color pink, which I love and she doesn't). Her style is so simple, classic, and, well, exactly what I love, too. So, I've been buying pants from her for my wee ones at every turn.

These two great pairs of cords were for James, with adorable pockets.

I don't find photographing pants on moving toddlers to be all that easy.

And then, Elisabeth requested a pair of jeans with matching pockets, and Erin obliged with beautiful results.

Both children also have some Christmas tree appliqued turtlenecks from Erin, but they are constantly in some state of laundry, so I wasn't able to get photos for this post. :(

This fantastic "Super Organized Wallet" came my way from Dogwood Lane about 6 months ago, and I rotate it with the lovely one from Erin. They are both perfect for different circumstances, so I love having both. Sally was so sweet to do business with, and I was her 100th customer, so she sent me an adorable "extra", as well. So sweet.

And there's this Artist Tote from Alicia's shop. Alicia has also come to be a very dear friend, almost since the beginning of my blog. She was the first person to link to my site. :) I simply cannot say enough about the quality of Alicia's work. The tote is really amazing. And it's lined with a batting of some sort, so I've found it really handy to use for a simple camera carry when I don't need more than one lens. The notebook that she included (covered with matching fabric!?!) is never far away from me ... I'm constantly jotting something or other down. Thank you, sweet Alicia.

I've also been picking up vintage buttons on Etsy here and there when I see some that I just need -- here are a few I've found around (there are always different ones popping up in all sorts of different Etsy shops -- they're so much fun to look for!):

Finally, this print made its way to me (way back in September) all the way from France -- via the lovely Julia of lineanongrata. It's just waiting to be framed ... still ... and this photo does not do it justice in any way. It is simply exquisite.

I also have to mention that my dear friend Rebecca has started her own Etsy shop full of her original handmade cards. Her work is beautiful and full of care, if I do say so myself.

So, get yourself over to Etsy and have some fun perusing some of the just incredible things that artists and craftspeople are creating. Amazing, amazing, amazing.