Uncommon Grace

Birthday Celebrating

This is my last post before I go on my trip -- too much to get done. Have a lovely weekend, everyone! I thought I published this on Wednesday last week, but I just saved it as a draft! Oops! I'm back from New York now, but the photos and recounting of the trip will have to wait as I'm still actually computer-less. My IT guy -- er, brother-in-law -- is trying to work on our other one, but for now I don't have it.

Many of you have contacted me about a source for our birthday ring. We got it 5 years ago from Magic Cabin. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like they still carry them. The rings themselves can still be found in online shops, such as A Toy Garden or Nova Natural. You can get the ring by itself, or an entire set with all sorts of different figures. I haven't found anyone selling the peg people that we have anymore, but now that I'm doing more creating than I was five years ago, I realize how easy it would be to make the them using small wooden peg people (I've seen them at both JoAnn and Hobby Lobby, or you could look here), bits of wool felt & fabric, and some acrylic paint for facial features. It would be fun to have custom-made ones for your own family, incorporating your child's interests or favorite stories into the characters. If I were to do it now, I'd buy a ring by itself and create my own characters for it. Alas, I never even thought of it five years ago. Alexis did, though! Look at the beautiful one she created for her daughter's birthday last year! (More pictures of hers here.)

I get a lot of questions regarding our family's birthday traditions. For the most part, they're a mix of this and that, but several of the more "visible" traditions (the ring, the crown) are inspired by our interest and involvment in the Waldorf community. The birthday ring and crown are actually European birthday traditions -- not expressly "Waldorf", but it seems that in the US, they've come to be associated with Waldorf; I suppose this is just because a lot of the traditions adopted in Waldorf schools have their origins in Europe.

Anyway, we have a tradition of saying a poem before bed on the eve of the birthday. The poem we like to use is a pretty standard one. I'll add it at the end of the post. In the morning, the birthday child awakens to find the birthday ring and crown (more about those here) at his or her place at the table, and the birthday wreath hanging above. The candles on the ring are lit, and we say a (different) birthday poem (this year is was the same poem from Now We Are Six that I shared here on Elisabeth's birthday). We sing and the candles are blown out, and then we eat breakfast. Presents are opened after breakfast, and the crown is worn for much of the day. Beyond that, our birthday celebrations change from year to year, depending on the schedules of grandparents, and the day of the week. The birthday child gets to choose our dinner, of course. We like our celebrations special and full of family traditions, but simple at the same time. I once heard another mother say that before you start a tradition, you should make sure it's something you could do if you were sick, if your child were sick, if you were traveling, and ... something else. You get the point. I think it's so easy to bite off more than you can chew when it comes to celebrating. It's probably better to one small tradition at a time. (Sometimes I'm better at following my own advice than others.)

I'll leave you with our favorite "birthday eve" poem:

When I have said my evening prayer,
And my clothes are folded on the chair,
And mother switches off the light,
I'll still be ___ years old tonight.

But from the very break of day,
Before the children rise and play,
Before the darkness turns to gold,
Tomorrow, I'll be ___ years old.

___ kisses when I wake,
___ candles on my cake.*

*I don't know the author of this poem, it is listed anonymously in several books I have referenced over the last several years. But if the author of the poem is known to anyone, I will happily give credit here!

Six is Super!

We've been having so much fun celebrating our six-year-old's birthday over the last several days. Thank you all so much for your sweet birthday wishes for her, as well. She has loved hearing them as they've come in -- as have I!

We had a super fun, simple, homemade birthday party with some little friends on Saturday. The kids enjoyed it, but I am making a note to self that this is the last time I will be the only adult at a birthday party, especially one that includes two two-year-olds in attendance!

Goodie bags with tags featuring the six-year-old theme. (Contents described here.)

Watercolor paper kites -- a simple, fun project, with the surprise bonus that the kites actually caught a gust of wind pretty well. I was standing outside with one, just holding the string, and it was actually flying up in the air. Who knew?

Wet felting some balls. My kids love to felt, and being the wool and felt lover that I am, we have done it a lot. It was pretty tricky to get a whole group of kids set up with it when I was the only adult, though.

Elisabeth and James with their kites later in the day. So fun and satisfying!

Lots more photos of the six-year-old weekend here.

{We are still without our regular computer. I'm "borrowing" my husband's work laptop -- having located the installation disk with my camera software on it just in time for birthday photos on Thursday! I have no idea if the photos look bad or not, though. The color on the teeny, tiny laptop screen is awful, and depending on the angle, everything looks either really dark or really bright. So, hopefully they're OK from where you sit.}

Two years old!

My baby is two today.

I think, for me, anyway, that these days always sneak up and take us by surprise. We knew his birthday was coming, definitely. Despite getting a little bit behind, and having colds all weekend, we had gifts prepared for him, including handmade gifts from Mama and from Elisabeth. And I've been thinking about the fact that he's been with us for two whole years now quite a bit lately. He's actually been saying he's two for a couple of months now.

But, I still find that the real significance of the birthday is just not that apparent until the day actually arrives. Not until the birthday child awakens. Sometimes they know that it's their birthday right away, and sometimes they have to be reminded.

And then, there are the Birthday Traditions. The candles in the ring to be blown out, a crown to be worn all day (except he doesn't like to wear it, but that's OK, too), the birthday poem to be said, the gifts to be opened right after breakfast.

So, now I'm looking at my little one, in all his striking "two-ness." When did he become so capable? Where did all these certainties and opinions come from? When did he start playing like such a big kid with his sister?

He's full of joy, this one. Full of laughter, and jokes, and music. I have never known anyone who could make me so happy just by his presence. He can drive me completely crazy, making mischief, but then he'll just make me laugh and forget the whole thing.

Happy birthday, little one. I love you just as you are today. And I am so excited to see what you'll become over this next year.

Sweet

Did you have a sweet Valentine's Day? We did. In a literal and figurative sense.

The wee ones awoke to valentines and gifts at their places at the table. I got the idea for the valentines from The Purl Bee. (And can I just add how much I love The Purl Bee? They're brilliant, I tell you.) I love the way these look, and I love the fabrics here. Perfect for these, if I do say so myself.

Then we spent most of the day with my mom, having lunch and super-fancy pastries at a little old-fashioned Swiss restaurant, then off to an indoor play area (I don't love those, but my little ones seem to...) for the kids to run and jump and play. (We did end up with several inches of snow yesterday and a high in the low 20's.)

We headed home, and I had cello lessons to teach right away. Then some dinner (Mexican food and margaritas) when Daddy got home, and off to bed.

Very sweet indeed. 

The Culprit

I really meant to have pictures ready to post today about Elisabeth's final costume. (And thank you all so much for your kind words about the others! They're really just simple, but she's been so happy with them.) But it'll have to wait, once again, because we didn't manage to take any over the weekend.

Remember my finger crisis of Christmas 2007? It healed up so nicely. Until, at the end of last week, I bumped it into the headboard of my bed when I was waking up one morning. Then it suddenly started hurting really badly again, and started to swell. Unfortunately for me, the skin had already healed over, so soaking it in epsom salts isn't going to do the trick this time around. I have to go to the doctor today.

Anyway, I thought it would be fitting to share pictures today of the thing I was sewing when it happened. The culprit, if you will. I was just happily appliqueing this little t-shirt for my littlest niece.

I have a hard time with satin-stitch applique anyway, finger crisis or no. I think it's because I don't have a clear-sole foot for my machine, so I can't really see what I'm doing. Anyway, it's not perfect. I could use some more practice. But, that Superbuzzy Snow Play fabric is so fantastic (I've decided that "fantastic" is my new word for 2008, by the way), and it just demanded to be appliqued onto a t-shirt for a sweet little girlie.

I loved the idea of this little wrist detail, but it didn't turn out as well as I wanted because I did it after the finger injury and I was really jumpy the whole time.

I also made these little button bobbie pins for both nieces, having seen them around quite a bit. They are so cute, and made perfect package toppers. (We opted for The Daring Book for Girls for our older niece, not an applique t-shirt.)

A shot of my little niece in the shirt.

Oh, and incidentally, I was just looking in my Bernina accessories booklet for the clear-sole foot, and I noticed that they actually sell a zig-zag foot with a guard on it to prevent fingers from being sewn over. Sounds like just what I need! Except the sole isn't clear. Too bad. ;)

What's Christmas without a few costumes?

I know that I mentioned before that I began all of my family's gift making after sundown on December 22 this year, and the majority of my Christmas crafting involved costumes for Elisabeth.

Elisabeth is one of those children who changes her clothes at least 17 times every day (17 is her own estimate). All of her play requires an appropriate costume, and it's relatively rare to find her in "regular" clothes. Christmas brings all sorts of costuming opportunities -- both in the form of pageants to be in and gifts to receive.

Dressed as an angel at church on Christmas Eve

She really prefers costumes of her own fashioning, but I thought that I could add a few nice pieces to her repertoire. The one thing she was really hoping Santa Claus would bring was a very fancy ballet costume. It was so cute, because she'd be in the backseat of the car, or under the dining room table, or some other somewhat private place, eyes squeezed shut, hands clasped imploringly, and murmuring, "I know you can hear me, Santa Claus. Please bring me fancy ballerina outfit. That's all I really, really need."

So, with a solo trip to the ballet shop to look for costumes out of the question given my over-full plate of doll making, I decided to fashion a fancy ballet costume for her.

I picked up the leotard on the clearance rack at a discount retailer (ugh), and used about 5 yards of tulle and an elastic headband (using Coronita's technique) to make a very full tutu. I added tulle, ribbon "streamers" and glittery buttons at the shoulders, and all in all, there was one very satisfied ballerina on Christmas morning.

Santa Claus also brought a "Heidi" costume for Elisabeth this year. Heidi was a favorite read-aloud last year, and it really captured both of our imaginations.

I really couldn't get the idea of a little Swiss girl costume out of my head, so I came up with a simple blue elastic-waist skirt, a red apron with the trim that really "makes" the costume in my opinion, a gingham kerchief (which Elisabeth prefers tied under the chin), and then just a white t-shirt and a thrifted-by-a-friend green wool cardigan. This costume came together really easily, and the individual pieces are really useful for all sorts of play.

There was one other costume, the most involved sewing project of the three, which came from Daddy and me, but it'll have to wait to be seen here until Monday because we don't have any good pictures of it yet.

Celebrating the Twelve Days

Our family has a tradition of celebrating the Twelve Days of Christmas. I don't know how this tradition crept into our lives -- neither I nor my husband grew up with this tradition; in fact, both of our mothers are of the "all decorations down before New Year's" persuasion. But nonetheless, over the six holiday seasons that we've celebrated since becoming parents, this custom has organically slipped into our lives.

I think it partly grew out of our desire to avoid the over-stimulating, greed-filled, disappointing marathon of celebrating all of Christmas in one day. And it grew out of an interest in observing Twelfth Night/Epiphany/Three Kings Day (as it's known in our house), which falls on January 6.

And we're still very much in the process of figuring out what celebrating the Twelve Days is going to look like for us. But we're discovering that it isn't so easy. It seems to be more countercultural than almost any other holiday tradition. The rest of our world (by which I mean our community, and our country, the United States ... I understand that it's very different in some parts of the world) turns the holidays "off" somewhere around New Year's Day. One local radio station plays nothing but Christmas music beginning on Thanksgiving, and on December 26, they stop quite abruptly. I often feel like it would be so much nicer to ease back into "regular programming."

Elisabeth's live tree in her bedroom.

It's challenging, though, when the preparation for and celebration of a season are all mixed together. It sometimes feels as though we're on this crazy ride ... we're expected to prepare for the holiday and celebrate it simultaneously. And it leaves me feeling a bit crazed. It seems that observing a meditative advent is not a luxury afforded to a mother whose job is to make sure that the celebration is ready on Christmas morning. No wonder so many people tear their decorations down on the day after in a furor of annoyance.

And so, we're finding our own way, bit by bit. Leaving our decorations up through January 6 has necessitated putting them up a bit later. Finding ways to draw out the season has been a bit more difficult. My children certainly aren't in need of more gifts. But we keep our eyes open for family-oriented activities that we can do a bit easier while my husband is on his break from teaching.

The farm is decorated with trees from my Holiday Traditions Exchange swap partner.

Sometimes just embracing the fact that this time may be about quiet and peace is a bit challenging for me, but then, maybe that's what it's really here for. Maybe that's the real gift of Christmas. Hmm. Profound thoughts. But being thoughtful, making thoughtful choices for myself and my family, is what my journey is all about. When I was a girl, these couple of weeks after Christmas seemed to be outside of time. We would always get new books for Christmas, and as I grew older and they were chapter books, these became the "weeks of reading" for me. No other responsibilities ... just savoring my new books. And I think my children have this all figured out. They are getting so much good play done right now (as though they didn't the rest of the year?! ha!), and seem quite content to be at home most days.

What I'm learning to do, a bit more each year, is to incorporate some of the things into the Twelve Days that were possibly planned and then missed in the frenzy of Christmas preparation: a get-together with friends we don't see often, a project or craft or baked good we wanted to try and didn't get to. And every year, no matter how carefully planned, Christmas preparation is more of a frenzy than I'd like, and there are leftover things from our list that can still be enjoyed. It's not "perfect" -- and (even more amazing to me) it doesn't have to be!

Wishing You...

Light, love, peace, good cheer, and many blessings in the new year.

I have so very much to share with you all. But that'll have to wait another day. For now, let's just say that I'm very ready for my long winter's nap, but I made it. And now the holiday begins for me. (More about that in a later post, too.)

Merry Christmas, dear friends.

Preparations

...and lots of photos from the last week or so. (And more here.)

Sing-a-longs. (I'm pretty sure this was Feliz Navidad.)

A visit from St. Nicholas. (December 6.)

Mulled wine. My husband doesn't "believe" in straining it. ;)

Ornaments old...

...and new.

A steady fall of snow -- sometimes more, sometimes less, but always welcome.

Sibling love.

A few runs down a favorite hill.

Evenings spent with friends.

The beauty and furor of winter.

Sheer excitement.

Silence.

Skating party

I know, I've been very quiet here over the last couple of weeks. I'm just a bit overwhelmed and stressed.

At the end of November, my sister's older stepdaughter turned seven, and she had the funnest little ice skating party.

I made the Simple Tote from Bend the Rules Sewing for her, using some adorable Superbuzzy fabric from my stash. The tote turned out a lot smaller than I imagined it would (I think just because I am lame at picturing measurements in my head), but it was just the right size for three new chapter books for this little girl who loves to hear a good yarn. (The photo only pictures two because Elisabeth was looking at the other one at the time!)

I think Seven sounds Stupendous.

PS: The books we included were The Wheel on the School by Meindert DeJong, which was a favorite of my sister's as a girl, The Borrowers by Mary Norton, which Elisabeth and I selected because we love miniature people and things, and The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, another childhood favorite of my sister's ... with illustrations by Tasha Tudor -- lovely. (Since my sister will likely be doing the reading, they might as well be books she already loves, right?)

And so it begins...

We have officially entered the long-awaited season of advent (is it ironic that we awaited a time of awaiting?!). This weekend, we spent a chilly morning at our local Waldorf school's Winter Faire. The children had the opportunity to meet with King Winter himself (who told Elisabeth that she had the touch of nobility), roll & dip candles, watch a puppet show, and lots of other lovely little crafty activities.

Later that evening, Elisabeth and I attended an advent spiral organized by Waldorf-inspired homeschoolers in our area. It was such a beautiful, contemplative beginning to the season. It was Elisabeth's first time to walk the spiral, and as soon as she had seen the first child walk around the dark path, light his candle, and walk back out, she immediately stood up and was ready. I was so inspired by my daughter's courageous and enthusiastic desire to walk the path alone. This was a particularly large spiral, as it was set up in a community house that was originally used for dances about 100 years ago. The spiral path can feel pretty long and very dark (I walked it, too, and it was a deceptively lonely walk), and Elisabeth can be bashful at times. I thought that this was a very beautiful expression of her spirit as she slowly walked around the spiral, lit her candle, and slowly and carefully chose a place on the path to set it. It was all just very lovely, quiet, and peaceful.

The sense of anticipation for the season to come was present, as was the stillness of contentment in the place where we journey now.

And last night, the first Sunday of advent, we lit the first candle on our wreath, which for now looks very barren in this first week. Much more to anticipate! 

Celebrating Advent :: Part 3

Advent Wreath

The advent wreath is a very ancient tradition, drawing on many cultures and customs. It is full of symbolism (which I won't go into here, but suffice it to say that no matter the religious background, circles are pretty much universally significant in human history).

There are a lot of ways to assemble an advent wreath. Religious supply stores sell small metal wreath forms with the candle holders already built in, which can then be filled out with greenery. You could use an actual evergreen wreath and place the candles around it. We have a wooden wreath form that can actually hang, although we just set it on the table along with a real wreath around it. As far as candles, the tradition is to use four red ones or three purple and one pink. (The pink one is lit on the third week.)

We are huge fans of candlelit dinners at our house (um, have you guessed?), and there's no more beautiful time of year than advent for this, as we're symbolically kindling light within ourselves as we await the "return of the light". There are the candles of the wreath, with a new one lit each week; our advent candle, which is a beeswax candle that we decorate with decorating wax every year on December 1; and plenty of other beautiful candles as well. We light each of the advent candles for the first time at a Sunday dinner, with a little prayer or blessing. (We use Christian advent prayers, but I know there are lots of other possibilities if that doesn't fit your family's needs.) Then we continue to light the appropriate candle(s) during each dinner for the rest of that week.

Another tradition with the advent wreath is to incorporate parts of the natural world into it. Traditionally, the first week is devoted to the earth and the mineral world. Many people place crystals and beautiful stones in the center of their wreaths during this time. In the second week, the plant world is incorporated. This would be a good week to add your evergreen wreath or branches if you haven't already. Pinecones, holly sprigs, and even red roses are also traditional additions. It's also one traditional time to put up and/or trim the tree. Representations of the animal world are added in the third week. Small figurines of animals are most common, but there are other creative options -- perhaps a dried starfish or some shells to remind us of the animals under the sea? Feathers to remind us of the birds? And so on. The fourth week adds the human world. Many people add the figures of Mary and Joseph to the center of the wreath, but any small representations of humans, their form or the work of their hands, would be appropriate. The purpose of this tradition is to incorporate archetypal representations of the natural world into the celebration of advent, not necessarily to create a very "realistic" scene, especially if your children are very small. Children's imaginations and comprehension of symbolism are much stronger than ours! ;)

There are several suggestions regarding constructing a wreath in All Year Round. Many of our family traditions surrounding the wreath are a blend of ideas from Mrs Sharp's Traditions, All Year Round, and our own religious backgrounds. 

Celebrating Advent :: Part 2

So, without further ado, here's the list. I am adding links for some of these items, but please understand that while I would not link to a company with which I explicitly object to doing business, these are not endorsements of one company over another. In many cases, I have found or purchased these items locally rather than through online sources. So please take the links as what they are: references for you to use if they're helpful, but not a buying guide from me.

And I think it goes without saying, though I'll say it anyway, if you think of something great that hasn't made my list, will you please share it in the comments? Many of these would make nice stocking stuffers, too, if you find yourself lacking inspiration in that arena. :) (Photos in this post are all from last year -- not necessarily pertaining to our actual advent calendar, but I felt that they expressed the spirit I'm hoping to capture here.)

Family Outings/Activities (make a simple coupon/ticket for these as a visual cue)

*Carriage ride (our downtown offers free carriage rides on specific days throughout December)
*Ice skating
*If your community has a "giving tree," you could incorporate one or more elements of this process into one or more (!) days of the calendar: the day your family chooses someone from the tree to give to, or shopping for or making a gift for that person (or you could incorporate some other form of charitable giving into the calendar if you don't do a "giving tree")
*Many public libraries have speical children's events during December
*Many places of worship or community centers also have special holiday events for families
*Sledding (in our area, December is pretty touch-and-go with regard to snow, so we kind of just wait and see if there'll be a snowy enough day for that)
*Special visit to relatives (or a coupon on your traveling day if you travel at the holidays)
*Tea party (either at home or at a local tea house)
*Tickets to see a performance of The Nutcracker or other holiday performance
*Visit Christmas lighting displays
*Visit to Santa
*Any other traditional holiday outing of your family's

Family Traditions

*A special meal -- maybe your child can choose what to have

*Candies for decorating on the day you make a gingerbread house
*Cookie cutter or sprinkles on the day you make cookies
*Coupon for extra bedtime story, late bedtime, etc.
*Moonlit walk (in the spirit of Owl Moon)
*Ornament on the day you put up your tree (think simple, even handmade -- it doesn't have to be fancy or expensive)
*Popcorn (we found red and green kernels last year) for a special movie night (i.e. Charlie Brown Christmas special)
*Special one-on-one time or "date" with parent

Made by Parent for Child

*A mix CD of some of your child's favorite music, or your family's favorite holiday music (I'll share some of ours in an upcoming post), or favorite music from your own childhood

*Crown -- crocheted, made from felt, or other fabrics

*Doll clothes

*Finger Puppets

*Knitted hat

*Knitted stuffed animal
*Holiday napkins

*Origami animals

*Other small handmade toys

Natural World

*"Found" objects from nature (pinecones, acorns, nests, etc.)
*Crystals or beautiful stones
*Evergreen sprigs
*Flowers that are blooming now (Christmas cactus, carnations)
*Paperwhite bulbs (if you give them early enough, they could be blooming by Christmas)
*Seaglass (OK, I know it's not technically "natural", but it's still lovely)
*Seeds (for planting)
*Shells

Multi-Day Items

*One bead (or more) a day, leading up to stringing a necklace or bracelet
*One puzzle piece (or more) a day, leading up to a completed puzzle
*Something that comes as a set, divided over several days, such as: a tea set, a set of nesting bowls, a matreshka, nativity set, checkers game, etc.

Free or Very Inexpensive

*A dollar or even just a few coins to put into the Salvation Army bucket, accompanied by an illustration of the bucket (be sure you do this on a day you plan to go to the store anyway)
*A story you have made up especially for your child
*Bells
*Jokes
*Letter or note
*Marbles
*Poems
*Riddles
*Scavenger hunt or treasure map -- either to an object too large to fit, or just for fun

Crafts

*Beeswax sheets and wicking to roll candles
*Candle and candle decorating wax or paints (can be found at craft stores or online through places like Hearthsong)
*Coloring book or sketch pad and fresh set of crayons or colored pencils
*Crafts made with natural objects (ornaments, people, or animals from pinecones, acorns, nuts, etc., a candleholder made from a crosspiece of a branch and decorated with crystals, bits of evergreen, nuts, etc., ornaments made with woven wheat or long pine needles, fire starters made by dipping long, thin pinecones into melted beeswax, bird feeders made using pinecones, peanut butter, seeds, etc. A lot of these ideas can be found in the books Earthways and Crafts through the Year, and there are kits out there, too.)
*Do you have any idea how many things can be done with pipe cleaners? Think about it. ;) Our house would probably stop functioning if we ran out of those babies.
*Embroidery supplies or kit
*Felting supplies or kit
*Knitting mushroom/tower and some yarn
*Modeling wax or clay
*Lanterns made using recycled food cans with holes poked in them with a hammer and nail (or other light-oriented project) -- really good for the day of the Solstice
*Origami paper and instructions for older children
*Pieces of wool felt for your child to cut up and make things with -- perhaps with some dolly pegs (old fashioned clothespins) and some other little bits of yarn and trims to make little people
*Rubber stamps
*Small sewing project or kit
*Supplies for a holiday craft such as stringing garlands, making ornaments, or simple gifts
*Supplies for making holiday cards, gift tags, or wrapping paper (such as construction paper, glitter paint/glitter pens, a large roll of kraft paper, rubber stamps, etc.)
*Window crayons or markers

Purchased/"Gifty" items

*An item to add to something your child or family collects: a piece of a collectible nativity set, Playmobil pieces, an Ostheimer figure, another toy that your child has a collection of, etc.
*Balls: rubber balls, knitted balls, felt balls, fabric balls, etc.
*Bath toy
*Bird call whistle
*Card games
*Collectible coins
*Costume jewelry
*Dress-up item
*Family game
*Fancy soap
*Hair ties
*Harmonica
*Jacks game
*Jump rope
*Kazoo
*Lacing cards
*Lip balm
*Music box
*One year I found a beautiful and inexpensive little etched glass votive candle holder with an evergreen-scented candle for Elisabeth, and she loves getting it out of our Christmas things each year
*Pajamas (could be homemade if you sew)
*Pencils made out of twigs (one source)
*Play silks -- mini or regular
*Slippers (I'm thinking of this in terms of maybe this is something my child really needs, and perhaps before Christmas -- could also be homemade)
*Small snow globe
*Socks
*Special drinking cup -- a holiday mug, or a little cup for your child to have as his "own". Two possible sources here and here
*Spinning tops
*Stickers
*Tiny toys

Food/treats

*Chocolate coins or small candies
*Mini candy canes
*Nuts
*"Stained glass" cookies
(We have never given food items in our advent stockings, so I'm afraid I'm a little lacking in ideas there. Sorry.)

Reader Sarah made a comment that her family uses an advent calendar with beautiful pictures behind each window rather than gifts in order to avoid the feeling of materialism that expecting "something" -- whether an actual gift or just the promise of an activity -- engenders. I think she makes a really good point, and I'd certainly like to emphasize that while we have definitely given real gifts in the calendar, we are very heavy on the coupons for activities here. In our family, it offers a way for Elisabeth to understand that even the season has a rhythm to it -- today we'll trim our tree, today we'll make cards, today we'll make cookies, etc. So, I want to encourage all of you to think of it in that light as much as possible in order to keep yourself out of the overwhelming trap of feeling obligated to buy or find a lot more tangible gifts, in addition to everything else on a busy parent's plate at this time of year! This list, I know, is very long. But don't feel like you need to somehow do everything on it! (We haven't!) Choose what works for your family first and foremost!

Celebrating Advent :: Part 1

You are all so kind! I feel so blessed by your many well-wishes. I am still sick ... the laryngitis has passed and been replaced with a cough. Yuck! I don't get sick often, but when I do, it seems that I get every possible symptom.

I know that December is still a few weeks away, but I thought I'd share these ideas with you now so you'll have time to think about them if they resonate for you.

Spreading out the holiday season is very important to me. The idea of one single, over-stimulating, and -- ultimately -- disappointing day is very unappealing to my mama soul, and not so good for the wee ones, either. The more that we can do to celebrate a holiday season, the better, in my eyes. So to that end, we have a very involved advent tradition, into which we have incorporated many of our other family holiday traditions. We also celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas, ending on Three Kings Day (January 6). During that time, we are still in merry-making mode, but we try to ever-so-gently wind things down.

As I wrote this post, I realized that it was far too much information for one day, so I'm going to divide it up into three days this week. Today I'll talk about the advent calendar. On Wednesday, I'll share a very long list of ideas for things to put into the calendar once you've got it set up. And on Friday, I'll share a little bit about the tradition of the advent wreath. These ideas have been accumulated over my 5.5 years of mothering and from my own childhood as well.

Advent Calendar

The first thing to do is to come up with some sort of advent calendar "vessel". This can be just about anything. We have 24 stockings strung on a garland. Years ago (2003, to be precise), Martha Stewart Kids showed a sock garland calendar made with baby socks, number stickers, and clothespins. It's not up on their website Here it is, although they do show this one, which requires sewing, and this cute one, made of boxes. (I made ours three or four years ago using this kit from Magic Cabin.) I have a friend who uses 24 beautiful paper cones. You could use a variation on the pocket calendar, based on something like this, this or this. Kim made these gorgeous little cornucopias. You don't even have to have 24. You could use a single beautiful bowl, tray, or piece of pottery, and the gifts could appear in it each morning. And each vessel does not have to be large enough to "hold" the day's gift. Our gifts frequently don't fit in our tiny stockings, so they simply await the children on a chair or stool beneath the garland. We do have a little elf who travels from stocking to stocking day by day as a visual aid to the passing of the days.

Another variation is to have a 12-day calendar and use it to celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas instead. Then you only have to come up with 12 ideas, and you can spread Christmas out in the more traditional manner. (Traditionally, the Christmas/Yule season began on that day, rather than ending on it!)

Now that you've got a vessel of some sort, you have to come up with little gifts to put in it for 24 consecutive days (I know, I am a crazy person). This can get very expensive, very quickly, if you approach it with the idea that each day must contain an actual "gift" for each of your children. I try to think about things that we would be doing anyway, and make those things fit into our celebration of advent, rather than the other way around. For example, we would always make cookies one day, visit holiday lighting displays one or more days, and put up/decorate our tree one day. The same idea applies to things we'd spend money on anyway. Is there something that my child needs now that can't wait until Christmas? That goes into the calendar. We have the tradition of wearing new pajamas on Christmas Eve, so they started appearing on the last day of the calendar. We would buy a new, special holiday or winter book for our family each year anyway, so we incorporated that into the calendar. One of the most important things that I can recommend to you if you are just beginning with this tradition is to keep it pretty low-key and low-pressure. If you set your children up to expect an actual "gift" every day, they will feel disappointed if sometimes it's not. If most days they find coupons or tickets incorporating an activity that would happen in your home anyway, it gives them the security of predictability, and keeps it from becoming another commitment for you to buy a lot more expensive gifts.

The key here is keep it simple and manageable for the parents. I usually sit down in November with the calendar and figure out which days, according to my husband's work and gig schedule and my cello teaching schedule, we will do our usual family outings and activities. I think about the more "gifty" things I have acquired (or plan to), and try to spread those out at fairly wide intervals. I look at the days we're going to celebrate other festivals (St Nicholas's visit on the 6th, Santa Lucia's Day on the 13th) and think about ways that I can either incorporate the celebration of those festivals into the calendar (a Santa Lucia crown on the 13th, for example) or something simple that won't distract from the main event. (Since St Nicholas brings chocolate and a small gift to my children, I keep the advent calendar very simple on that day.) Once I have the main things plugged into my calendar, I fill it in with simple crafts or small things that I have on hand.

I like to have as much as possible on hand and parceled out according to date before Dec. 1 so that no matter how tired or busy I've been on some December day, the advent calendar won't be a cause for stress right before I go to bed. The easier I can make this for myself, the more enjoyable it is for everyone. 

So, make it fun for yourself, keep it light-hearted and simple, and it can be a really lovely family tradition that helps to spread out the season and mark the s-l-o-w passage of the days for the wee ones.

On Wednesday you'll get a very long list of ideas for things to put into the calendar, some of which we've tried in our home and some of which I just thought of as I was preparing these posts. Enjoy!

Halloween!

You might remember that Halloween is my favorite holiday. This year was kind of strange for me in terms of decorating, however. One huge box of Halloween decorations was never located in our very disorganized storage space, and we've been going back and forth with the decision of whether or not to move before the end of the year, so I was dragging my feet a bit on getting things out. Anyway, a lot of the decorating I would usually do didn't happen this year, but it was still a very sweet Halloween.

Elisabeth and James were fairies (Elisabeth's idea, of course); their costumes were inspired by the work of Daniela Drescher, whose illustrations I would gladly inhabit. In fact, I tried to make Elisabeth's costume look like one of the fairies from In the Land of Fairies.

James's jacket and hat are made using patterns from Bend the Rules Sewing. The "Woodland Elf Hat" was super easy. I used some wool/rayon blend felt that I got on clearance at JoAnn last fall, and I didn't even have to pin around the curves because the felt stayed nice and still for me. It was really easy. I'm not sure if it's because I used a fabric so different from the one suggested in the book (no stretch), but the "Sweet Wee Jacket" turned out much shorter than I'd hoped.  But no problem for this project ... and when I make it again (I'm certain I will -- it's so cute!), I'll just cut the body longer.

The wings are made with coat hangers and pantyhose. I've been thinking about trying this ever since I first saw some like this in a store five years ago (one of those "I could make that" moments), but was never sure how well it would work with an actual hanger. Well, it did, and was much easier than I expected!

James's bag, new this year. I made one like it for Elisabeth when she was this age, even before I was sure if I'd ever allow my children to trick-or-treat. Simple, small, doesn't hold too much, sweet, perfect for little ones.

We had a really fun evening. We trick-or-treated at just a few houses and in our small city's downtown, and then we spent most of the evening at my sister-in-law's house drinking spiced cider and eating chili while my wee ones and their big cousins (10+) were in and out (it was freezing). My children got just enough candy -- but not too much. It was perfect.

Equilibrium

I know I promised to post on Monday. And I didn't. And then I was really going to post yesterday, and it didn't happen either. But I'm here today! And we've been busy and happy!

After three lovely days with Daddy home last week, I had the amazing opportunity to attend a Waldorf parenting and homeschooling conference organized by the lovely Rahima Baldwin Dancy. It was worth every minute, and I came away so inspired and excited and full -- both with ideas and in my soul.

However, that made for a very late night on Sunday. And a sleepy day on Monday, reconnecting with my babies and trying to reestablish our rhythm.

Last week my serger finally died. I mean, it really died. So I've been looking into other options ... at this point, I've been so spoiled to have had a serger that going without was not a realistic option, especially not with doll commissions in my future. So I researched, asked around, priced, priced again, knew I couldn't afford what I really wanted, wished, looked for used ... and yesterday, amazingly, a local dealer had just had a trade-in only hours before I called. So we spent the afternoon at the shop trying it out, making sure that everything was in working order, etc., and, with the help of my mama, I came home with my very own Baby Lock! It's about 4 or 5 years old, but has never been used. The person who owned it finally decided, after years of non-use, to trade it in for a vacuum cleaner. I cannot believe how fortunate this was for me, because it's the machine I really wanted, and I would never have been able to afford it -- or any Baby Lock -- right now. But this was an incredible deal, and my mom was so generous to help me with it. I'm very blessed, I know.

Monday night was our annual pumpkin carving "party" with my dear, dear friend Rebecca. We've been carving pumpkins together every year for 8 years now, and have never missed, even when we (briefly) lived many hours away.

We have an annual tradition of having pasta and salad for dinner on pumpkin carving night. The photos throughout this post are from that lovely evening.

And tonight is Halloween! You'll pardon me for waiting to share costume pictures or even hints until tomorrow, won't you?!