I am posting here from the midst of gift-making chaos. We have no money this year. I mean, we always say that, especially the last few years at my husband's last crummy job, but this year, in the midst of unemployment, we really have nothing to spend on gifts. I do, however, have a lot of supplies. So I'm making as much as I can squeeze in. With a newborn. So, chaos and exhaustion doesn't really begin to describe it. I'm really longing for some time to just sit and read (either on my own or to my children), listen to Christmas music, and not look at another scrap of fabric, yarn, paper, wax, or any other supplies. Just a week to go. I'll get there.
It feels ironic to write the above, because while handmade gifts are definitely part of what I'd consider our family's "values", time spent together is even more important. I hate the consumerism and "grab it all" of this time of year, with frantic shopping and piles of gifts that will be forgotten or broken long before the next Christmas. Every year, we give fewer gifts to our children and I like it that way. So, I hate that here I am making gifts but feeling that same pressure. It's a balance that I just haven't struck yet.
But what I am longing for is a quiet, holy Advent spent in prayer and quiet togetherness with my family. I hope someday to get there.
I've grabbed these few photos here and there the last couple of weeks. Thank goodness for that camera, however infrequently I've been picking it up. It reminds me to look for the good in the midst of frenzy.